Betty ford says i'm here all night
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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