I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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