would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
