Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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