soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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