ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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