no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize