Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
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He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
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Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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