youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize