Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize