every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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