when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I looked at my own cervix.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
