All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
