My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize