omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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