that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
