My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
you had me at cake vodka
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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