So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
