He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
