His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
