remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
