Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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