During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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