Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
