I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
