Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize
