Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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