you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
