i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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