I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
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