Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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