My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
