Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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