If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize