they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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