Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize