Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everclear isn't food dammit
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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