Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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