Don't you send me to vm
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
high people should be assigned attendants
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
