It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
