My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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