sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
