i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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