seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
