He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
