this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
