Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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