so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
