you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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