if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
