i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
