I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
