my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
worst night to have a conscience
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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