The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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