okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My feet surprised me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
