you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
