no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
