I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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