I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize