just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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