I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
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Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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