you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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