Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
