..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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