he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
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